Transitions in Marriage

This week we talked about transitioning into marriage. I think that this was such an important lesson and conversation that we got to have as a class. I personally feel like the way people are getting into marriage is scary. I could just have major trust issues but how does one go from just meeting to getting engaged in as little as 3 months. Personally I think it's crazy to see how fast people get engaged especially up here at BYU- Idaho. I love being apart of this class but sometimes it is scary to hear about all of the ways marriages can fail just from the way the 2 people dated before marriage. I am scared but I am also so grateful that I can learn these things now and hopefully prevent bad things from happening in my own marriage.

Let’s talk about the engagement. The engagement is so important. This is where the boy shows his commitment and devotion to the girl he is pursuing. People nowadays totally down play being engaged and it's so sad. I personally have a roommate who is “engaged”. Her boyfriend hasn’t actually proposed but she has the dress, date, and ring all picked out. They are so caught up in the wedding part of it I don’t feel like they have really considered the commitment side of it. Not only are you committing the rest of your life with this person as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints you are also going to be making covenants as well. This is a huge deal and should be treated as such. You should start it off right with a traditional engagement that shows your commitment for one another.  

The second part of the engagement is wedding planning. Weddings can be expensive which can cause people to put them off but in all reality you can have a great wedding day on a way cheaper budget. One huge thing about weddings is having your parents and in laws help pay for it. I never saw this as a problem before we talked about it in class. This is the beginning of your life with your husband. You should start it out together not by being in debt to your parents. Maybe your parents won’t make you pay them back the actual money but you will owe them in some other way. It could be by spending more time with them or needing extra favors either way it is not good. The first couple years of your marriage should just be about you and your husband. You both should be building your bond together and focusing on each other. There are a lot of decisions you have to make when you first get engaged/married. You have to decide where to live, plan out a budget, timing for school, and timing for having kids. It’s stressful! This is why you and your husband need to have such a strong bond and figure these things out together. Another thing that should be pulling you both closer together is planning the wedding. Let the boy be involved. Don’t leave him to plan it with your mother or sister. Plan it with him. This is a wedding for you and your fiance. This is not a wedding for you and your mom. This also applies for when you are giving birth. It's great to be so close with your mom that you want her in the room with you but that is taking away from your husband trying to be involved in this process. Basically what I am trying to say is let you and your husband be together and experience these firsts together.