The Family Under Stress

When you are in a family crisis there are a lot of emotions. Depending one the crisis you could be feeling lots of different ones. But I think every crisis has one common feeling. That feeling is pain. No matter what has happened or who is involved there will always be some time of pain attached. Pain for your children, spouse, and family. What comes with that pain can either build your family up or tear it down. If there is just pain then as a family you can come together to feel compassion, empathy, and love towards one another. You will lift each other up and come out the other side. On the other side if there is pain and also blame then there will be defensiveness and you will end up tearing each other apart. When a crisis happens you have to do everything in your power to not put blame on yourself or anyone else involved. You will want to. You will want to hold someone else responsible for what has happened. You may even want justice in some way. The best way for your family to be able to recover is to love each other and feel the pain together. My teacher explained to us this study that has been done about a neighborhood going through a depression where there was a huge dip in the economy. They evaluated what these families' lives were like before and after. What was found was super interesting to me. Some families pulled through and were exactly the same. No changes they were able to continue the lifestyle they had before. Other families were worse. During the crisis they let it tear them apart till it was too much to bear. The last group of families was a smaller percent then all the rest but they were able to come out better off then they were to begin with. This to me was so interesting that even after a horrible thing they could still come out stronger than they were before. The families they came out stronger practiced a lot of the stuff I was talking about early but something else they did have to deal with stress. Now I am no newbie to stress. I am actually quite an anxious and stressed filled person myself so when I heard this I was honestly surprised. The families that came out stronger in the end knew how to channel their stress for good. Now that sounds weird so let me explain. They did not fall apart at the first sign of challenge or difficulty. They rose to it. They allowed their stress to mold and change them and help them grow into better people. They took it as potential to become better. Now I am fully aware that this is 100% easier said than done. Some crises are incredibly difficult to just have a good attitude and get over it. Like the loss of a child for instance. Losing a child is so devastating because you are not only losing them, you are losing their role in your family. So take your time and heal. Do the things I mentioned at the beginning about pain and compassion but not blame. Feel like loss but don’t let it end your life too. Take it one day at a time to slowly get better and heal. Think positively and focus and the thoughts that are true and not the lies you are telling yourself that are making you feel awful. Try and write down what you are thinking and feeling and see what percent is positive and what percent is negative. Then one day at a time try to turn one negative thought into another positive thought. Simple things like this will change so much. If you are currently going through a crisis just remember how strong you are and how nothing lasts forever.